i have an issue with wrapping my heart around women who are either over hundreds-n-hundreds of miles away or they’re locked into relationships with dead beats they can’t leave. ironically, i find myself wanting them more than the women who are available and obviously want me.
this is a state of insanity that must and will stop.
i doubt i’ll get to the point where i’m blogging so well, i can enter a contest. designing and hyper linking my post into infamy just won’t be happening in the near future; however, anything’s possible. so i’m marking it now, so…maybe i can eat my words later.
i personally just don’t see how there’s really that much to say every single day, but then again I haven’t tried. also, i haven’t really seen anyones blog truly pull it off. if it is an every day blog deal, then it’s just someone doing a ‘knock off news article with their personal twist on the facts’ or their blogging for commercial reasons/financial gain (ie linking to merchandise or to a sponsor). that’s not even what i’m into.
again…i may eat these words.
also… fuck approval. (new poem to come i’m sure) seriously… whoever or whatever group of individuals got you (me) stressing to-no-damn-end in order to get their/his/her approval; “fuck ‘em”. — let that desire die slow. you (i) don’t need it. trust me. Anyone short of God, is not worth it. I guarantee; neither of us will be eating those words later.
MARK IT
“lyrics that scribe with a PURE RUSH..
keep the X-Box Live on the Tour Bus..
and the Respect Higher than a Floor UP…
cause I can’t fall behind like Your Butt…
EAT. IT.
flow to the heart’s beat, rhymes flyer than star fleet,
they nail gunned the name to the marquee,
busy like markey, H.R. “home running” like R.V.
while rapper’s ‘roast beefing’ like ‘weeellcome to Arby’s’…
I “heart” sharpies
bomb on the engine, buddy, please don’t start me,
you wanna keep living, just pass ‘em the car keys,
cause i’mma keep spittin’ at the ‘rhythm of warp-speed’..
some say ‘GNARLEY’ , like ‘Lo and the Mouse’ did you get that?
Hardly – spit dope quotes like dude from Marcy,
Plus I’m back from the future like my name was “Marty” (c) Black Atticus
Mark It. Loose Leaf is that hotness.
*it’s still sinking in….i’ll have to write about it later though*
OK..so ya know ya boy been stepping his reading game up, right? Well here is one that’s redefined my whole reasoning for listen to hip hop and be an active participant/emcee. It’s an excellent up close look at how the culture started (not the music…..the culture) it’s not painted up or gassed with romance. Hip Hop was inevitable, and couldn’t have started at any other time in history, and it lets you know that from the mouth’s of those where were “living it”.
For me personally, i’ve gained an entire new respect for the DJ. To me, the b-boy/break dancer and the DJ ARE the backbone of hip hop. The Emcee is the voice and the story, but so much has been taken way from all aspects of these art forms, that it’s almost DUMBED DOWN the power. A true break dancer is amazing. hands down. when was the last time you was just “eye brows raised, mouth open-like-wooooww’d?!” THATZ what b-boys do. Same goes for the DJ. With the way captalism hit our culture, the DJ has been stifled a great deal. Not just the club DJ’s but the Disc Jockeys on air as well. There used to be a point where they were like our ‘filters for wack shit’. Weak music wouldn’t have gotten so much air time, or nearly as much as it does now, had they not pulled the juice away from the DJ. THE SAME SONGS wouldn’t be in rotation like they are now. cause it was about how a song moved you, ya know?
It was like, people trusted their ears more than their own for a while. GRANTED the crowd moves everything, but it was their jobs (DJ, MC) to move that crowd. If a DJ liked it and no one had heard it yet, then that was the joint. they were brave enough to freak and tweak songs out and just bring it to you without apology. they were more confident. share the sounds and see what happens.
I won’t even get on emcees. that’s a whole nother blog. but for real the book is dope. and NO…KRS ONE isn’t/wasn’t interviewed in this one. you’ll hear more from the likes of “The Funky 4″ (who?! exactly.) “Grandmaster Flash” , “Kool Herc” and many other legends of the movement. For the first time, I really really see what they mean by “you gotta know where you’re from, to know where you’re going”. it’s soooooo true.
to help some of you, who are either participants or just curious about hip hop’s roots – here is a link that my man SCIENCE OMEGA has put me on to, and i wanna put you on. I was talking with him yesterday and he tells me: “blogs are becoming the new YO! MTV RAPS” and he’s right. if you want to hear the real shit you gotta search (kinda like how you found me) — so let me help some of yall on your journey. the real sound is still out here –sooooo
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“because opinions rule much of a person’s world, some take that to mean that their opinion should rule EVERYONE’s world” (c) Kristie Shingles Oct. 29th 2008
TRUE INDEED.
I’ve been up to quite a bit since the last time I blogged it up. For starters, I won the “Individual World Poetry Slam Qualifying” rounds a few months back. This means I’ll be going to IWPS representing Knoxville against other poets from across the “world” (aka the east coast, mid west, and dirty south basically). I’m quite excited (and nervous) about it. SO I’ve been writing.
Online, Offline, When I feel like it, When I don’t Feel like it, on paper, on notepad (word perfect’s grand father) on napkins, WHATEVER. and I STILL don’t feel like it’s been enough. Perhaps somewhere I know I could try harder. We’ll see. I have until the end of this year to be ‘a better poet’ (aka memorize the hell out of new pieces, while ensuring the subject matter is shocking/though provoking enough to entertain judges into giving me a high score).
IN OTHER NEWS; i have successfully found a new spot to record, and the team of individuals i’m working with on my project are phenomenal. What’s beautiful about it is no one’s knocking the next persons ideas and it just seems to make the grueling process of recording much much more enjoyable while simultaneously retaining it’s effectiveness. in short: WE. KNOCK. TRACKS. OUT!!!!! I’ll be writing more about “The Loose Leaf Collective” in the near future.
for now (limited time only) you can check out our first song together on my myspace music page, it’s called “like a movie”
speaking of movies. my brother’s well on his way to shooting his first one! hopefully he’ll shoot my first music video also. that’d be dope. ALSO that new “marky-mark” movie is ONE of the lamest pieces of shit ever produced, nurtured, and sold to one man to another in the last ten years!!! the video game was classic, but the MAX PAYNE movie sucks and I want my money back.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: Be honest with yourself…… are you a sociopath ? to an extent….i definitely am.
sucks. big time.
Due to a freak accident/ act of God, my regular prescription glasses broke at a hinge in a way that defies the use of gorilla glue’s effectiveness. HENCE I’ve been using a back up pair of prescription shades for the past few weeks, and I now hate dudes who wear shades in the dark on purpose.
It’s a ridiculous trend, it makes no sense, but then again…maybe it’s just my eyes. maybe my eyes can’t see in the dark (as is) and goes completely null and void when you throw an extra-coating of dark on it. seriously, someone could be 3 feet away from me in the shadows and i wouldn’t even know they were there unless they either – a) smelled like they hate my nose hairs profusely or b) made some kinda noise. either way, it’s a stupid fashion trend.
not to mention how it’s just dragged my energy down. currently i feel like I’ve been walking through a dim lit room all day. I’ve been sleeping randomly and it’s effecting more aspects of my life then I care to blog/mention/write/and-or talk about.
other than that…every thing’s ‘peachy’.
i got to lay down a verse on black-one’s project last night. his lab set up is simple and to the point. i like that. also, it was inspiring to be in collaboration with an artist who takes the music seriously, but not so seriously that you can’t have fun with it anymore. we had a great time and knocked out the work in a considerably short amount of time (or atleast that’s how it seemed; aka — i got studio stamina like that) either way, the joints called “the wackness” and it’s addressing the gimicks and wack-schitk emcees come up with these days to get paid. rather humorous, if i don’t say so myself.
IN OTHER NEWS:
hr hip hop is down cause no one’s picked up the webhost tab. joy.
blackatticus.com is in the works. joy.
i’m making my first AMV with this mixtape song called “Broadcasting”. AMV’s are the new craze it seems (atleast online, and honestly, online is the wave of the NOW, right?) so anyway..we’ll see where this leads. it’s rather fun making these things, but it’s definitely time consuming. Tracking lyrics and synching them up with visual effects is challenging at first. Once you get the hang of it I’m sure it’s like breathing (or atleast weezing through a bad case of asthma). I’ll probably do a string of them and just hit youtube (and facsimiles) all at once.
last but not least; I got to performed at mt. zion last night and one thing is definitely clear to me now:
1) i don’t have enough ’spiritual based pieces’
2) i need to practice my slam poetry more
3) i enjoy reading in church/places of higher learning
&
4) i can’t ever place my revelations into ONE category (ie “and ONE thing is definitely clear to me now” uh huh…suuurrreee…)
last night i got a chance to just be an observer of the art.
i witnessed Mercedes rip her first victory from the hinges of slams mainframe and i got to watch Manhattan Project out in oak ridge.
both shows inspired me to not perform. just write. just meditate. and plan out the re-approach to the mic. this is a good thing. we should all take time to remember why the hell we’re doing what we’re doing in the first place.
i long to remember what it means to have all the factors of a plan come together. what it means to earn a win at slam (something that has gotten to the point of no longer exciting me; far from how Mercedes was last night). i want to get back to crowd rockin’, but i need it to be together and representative of my grasp on this craft.
i have to admit, I’ve been terribly disappointed in the last few hip hop shows here in town. either groups on the bill didn’t show up, either cd’s weren’t playing in players, or the sound equipment just sucked. at every show, I’ve had to resort to the bare-basics of performance. I’ve had to shut the music off and basically ‘freestyle’ / ’spoken word’ out a good time for those who paid at the door. that’s bullshit, it’s draining, and it’s not the level of professionalism needed for the sound to get the respect it deserves in this town and any other for that matter.
i’m talented, their talented, and we’re all going unrecognized. that’s gotta die.
what else has got to die is my slump/depression. i wish i could simply choke it out on the front lawn of it’s maker tomorrow morning, but it isn’t that easy. the purging has to be slow cause i was so quick to embrace it. irony be present at the proceedings. in ear shot. so i can hear it laught.
other-than-that. i’m becoming a halo 3 JUnKY. it’s sincerely become one of my goals to smash all ass on that game. indeed.
FSR
people marry people who aren’t even their friends.
FSR
my mother LOVES liver-cheese and for sum-dum-goi:liver-cheese exist.
i end up on writer’s block and rent a loft.
I think ‘Cuz I’m Here’ by Ruthie Foster is dope . I’m yet to meet anyone else who agrees, and i’m ok with that.
FSR
Most of my crew and this damn music scene are very crab-in-the-buckettish.
It’s like no one really wants to work together if it means the other is going to succeed first. i hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE that shit.
FSR
none of the young ladies i’m talking to/ dating are fuckin’ listening to me. women always bitch about how men don’t listen, well women REALLY don’t listen. if you’re a female, i’d love for you to take note:
1) you NOT that fuckin’ different from every other woman. how do i know? i hang out with more women than you do. you don’t even like/trust other women. and they don’t like or trust other women either. so a lot of you end up with these huge incubators of a life-style and have no clue how similar you actually are. However…you ARE unique. Just not in every damn thing you do.
2) your not that fuckin’ different from the person your dating either. i say ‘person’ for my gay couples out there, but i REALLY mean “the men/guy/dip shit your dating”. how do i know? cause i DO listen and I comprehend words. especially the words you used to describe your fickle-flipping n’-floppin’ everywhere feelings (which just so conveniently happens to be ‘out-of-wack’ whenever the pressure’s on during a debate/argument/mentioning of something that shakes your understanding of the world around you with it undeniable reality) and guess what?! GUYS FEEL THE SAME WAY AT TIMES!!! we get sad, we get mad, we get vexed, we get moody, we lose patients, we can’t sleep, we love, we laugh and (however fuckin’ rare) we actually cry.
sidenote: a man shouldn’t have to cry at all to prove he’s sad. it’s like if you don’t see that, you don’t believe shit. he hit the wall and broke his knuckles. DA FK-ELSE DO U WANT?!?!??!
3) You suck at listening. yes. YOU.
Guys may not say as much about how they feel SO THAT MEANS you’ll have to REALLY listen for the times we do. and when we say it, REMEMBER IT cause NO we won’t repeat it the next day, if ever again. why?
I don’t know… the stars aren’t aligned? we’ve short term memory? we’re not feelin’ that comfortable with sensitive moments (which doesn’t make us weak, or hard asses…we just aren’t comfortable … like a chick who wears 12 trying to squeeze in a 9)? get over it. listen. remember. like you want us to do. 
4) (and this is for guys and girls) INDEED ACTIONS “SHOULD” SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. but it isn’t the law of gravity. it sounds nice. it’s GREAT doctorine. but it’s not always true.
if someones says “you’re too good for me” …. (reguardless if they keep calling you) you MAY WANNA TAKE HEED.
if a guy says “this is just sex..” (reguardless if he doesn’t mind laughing with you a little while before and afterward) you MAY WANNA TAKE HEED.
if a girl says “i love you..but i’m not IN-love with you” (reguardless if she lets you ‘have some’) you MAY WANNA TAKE HEED.
if she’s STILL talking about her EX — TAKE HEED!! LEAVE.
damn.
FSR
common sense ain’t common and neither is pride.
real pride.
not that conceited shit we throw up as a shield when we know we’re wrong or have just been showed up. not that reason we WON’T try something new cause we’re afraid to lose. but THAT PRIDE that encourages character/morals/integrity. eliminates the bitch in you. places itself to the side when love needs a little room. PRIDE.
FSR
people can’t learn about their cultural back ground/history and not feel elitist.
FSR
people can’t practice a religion on not feel elitist.
FSR
i can’t type this without frowning.
FSR
i know impatient care takers. anti-social social works. and broke financial advisers. personally. oh yeah…and singers who can’t hold a flippin’ note.
but i love ‘em anyway. indeed.
When I First -FIRST – FIRST curled my toes around African Soil
I had an uncontrollable urge to play everything from the 8th Light to Thieves in the Night
from marley to spike. to chess. to soccer.
from sun to father, i wanted to play a game of Mamba,
ANYTHING!!!
I wanted to THROW JAVELINS at wild things that
gave birth while running
to scream in a ‘new language’
for day to break beats into poems
and poems to break down into psalms and shalloms
I wanted tanned skinned drums to sing new songs through my palms
til there was sky in my mouth
and storms in my shoulders
til I felt older and stronger than the stories between my toes
those prose in sand script,
stitched with the scent of the innocent’s blood
and salt
and party
and bullshit.
